I could hear her scream through the TV and it made me cringe. She was just acting, doing her job but her character is one that we’ve all experienced. I don’t think there is any girl out there that has been spared from lurking eyes, from being looked at like a piece of meat and from being touched by people without consent. Where did we as a species go so wrong that it’s now impossible for half the population to feel safe among their own friends and families in their own homes? What did I as a little girl do wrong to deserve this? This consequence is a result of what action of mine?
I hate that a screech from the TV can make me feel all of this and more. I hate that I don’t have the freedom to do what I want because people out there are cruel. I hate that I have to face the consequences of someone else’s action.
There is no fault of mine in this but yet everyday I fight, I struggle and it’s a battle for me. Yet everyday, I face the brunt and I challenge everyone and everything that comes my way. Why? Cause the world is a fucked up place and sadly I am a part of it.
I only hope that nobody has to deal with this, ever. It changes you.
I think the best thing that life does to you is when it throws some amazing things your way when you least expect it but when you need it the most and you don’t even realise your need for it. But that’s the fun part, then comes the difficulties of keeping this amazing thing with you for the rest of your life. That’s when you start planning and figuring out ways to make this work. I feel like in the process of planning and figuring it out how to make this work, we lose its charm and the excitement of what it originally was. We try to change the unexpected to the expected and that’s when things become monotonous and messy and something we don’t want anymore. The problem is, how do you make your brain that’s been trained to plan things and be logical all the time, to stop and just let things be, without the fear of it going wrong taking over us.
Our clothes are on your side of the bed, just lying there in a big pile. If anyone was to see it they would think that we definitely got drunk and had sex that night.
But little do they know that we had a nice candle light dinner.
Little do they know that we stayed up all night drinking and staring at the night sky from our window.
Little do they know that we spoke about life and all things that are beyond our understanding.
Little do they know that the pile of clothes was just us getting ready for bed.
Being in the final year of college, the pressure of doing well in the rat race is more now than ever. It got me thinking about how, everyone around me (myself included) does everything out of fear. The future is scary rather than exciting. Something about this just seems very incorrect. Shouldn’t the future and the endless possibilities excite us? Shouldn’t the unknown be something we look forward to and not dread? The fear of being left behind in the rat race is what motivates us to study and work, the fear of not having money makes us work to get better jobs, the fear of being alone makes us believe that we love every second person that we meet. It’s become so bad, that our own thoughts are to be feared rather than enjoyed. This can’t be the right reason for doing the things that we do, we can’t be so fear driven that things don’t even excite us anymore and the only reason that we do what we do is fear. That makes life redundant and pointless.