I keep reminding myself that “expectations lead to disappointments” and yet I keep expecting and getting hurt. How do you make me so stupid? Why do I let you hurt me again and again? Why is my guard so down that I’m letting this happen to me over and over. I guess I just need to keep reminding myself to not expect cause you will let me down.
Between a kiss and a glance, there’s a moment. A moment that makes you feel like the world has stopped. Time is frozen. It’s just you and me. In that moment, only you matter. The only thing between us is the anticipation of you lips on mine and mine on yours. A moment so intense that it hangs in the air and pulls us closer to each other with every passing second. A moment so perfect that when we kiss, it feels like finally, but really, it’s only just the beginning.
Wine stained lips, soft music filling the air and a warm night breeze. The city is quiet outside. We are two silhouettes against the soft city lights. Our bodies are close, closer than they can ever be. Hands exploring every inch of each other. Time slows down, this is our moment. It’s just me and you, nothing else matters. We reveal ourselves to each other in this silent night, no words spoken. The night is thick with love, romance and naked kisses. Restless minds are calm, no fears, no insecurities, no inhibitions. You look like magic to me. Ignited by passion, we make love all night. I am hopelessly and madly in love with you. This slow night is etched into my mind for the rest of my life.
Crawling into your arms and letting your warm embrace take over me is one of the best feelings in the world. When I am holding you tight, I can feel all my fears leave and the stillness take over. I never knew I could be this comfortable and content at the same time. The rhythm of your heartbeat is the calming sound that instantly puts me to sleep and that’s when you enter my dreams to let me know that everything will be okay. Your soft kisses, your fingers running through my hair and you patting my head put a smile on my sleepy face because that’s when I know how much you love me. Knowing that you will be right next to me, holding me tight when I wake up in the middle of the night gives me a sense of comfort that I never knew existed. I love it when my every attempt to move away from you fails cause you just pull me closer or move to me and once again hold me tight, all while you’re asleep. Our bodies intertwining in our unconscious state leaving us blissfully happy. This is what sleeping with you feels like, this and so much more.
Let’s run away. Let’s runaway to anywhere in the world but away from life and reality. Let’s escape from all of this and go to our own world, one that you and I have created. Let’s sit on mountains and stare at the night sky. The night sky that’s filled with stars, reminding us of how small we really are, making us question life, inspiring us and creating deep conversations between us. Let’s dive into deep blue waters and soak in all the beauty and energy around us. Let’s stop time, you and I together. Let’s escape into our own world that’s filled with love and nothing else. Let’s explore each other and get lost in each other. Let’s run away because reality and life suck anyway. Come with me?
Somehow, no matter how hard I try, my mind goes back to comparing me to her. You probably aren’t comparing the two of us but I am. When I am with you, I think about how her hands would’ve fit into yours, how she would’ve smelt when you lay next to her. I think about how she would’ve looked when you woke up next to her in the morning or how she would’ve felt when you cuddled and slept with her all night. I know it’s stupid for me to do this, but my mind won’t stop. When I am with you, I wonder how she must have done everything better than I do, how she would’ve looked walking around the room with you. I probably won’t ever be like her, at least not in bed. I know I need to stop thinking this, but for now, it’s stuck in my head.
Words aren’t enough to let someone know how you feel about them yet tears somehow are convincing. It’s not that I don’t believe you when you tell me you love me, but it’s when I see you cry that I can actually feel the way you feel. Why are tears more convincing than words? Why do I need to breakdown to let someone know that something matters to me, why do you need to breakdown for me to understand what is going on in your heart? Tears speak louder than words.